12 rules of the Indian Road, published for the first time in English.

Article1
The assumption of immortality is required of all road users

Article 2
The following precedence must be accorded to at all times.  In descending order,
give way to: cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks,
buffalo, Jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs,
pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods carrying), handcarts, bicycles
(passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.

Article 3
All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim: to slow is to
falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat.  This is in the Indian drivers' mantra.

Article 4
Use of horn (also known as the sonic fender or aural amulet)
Cars (4,1,a-c)
Short blasts (urgent) indicate supremacy, ie in clearing dogs, rickshaws and pedestrians
from path.  Long blasts (desperate) denote supplication, ie to oncoming truck,
"I am going too fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die". In extreme
cases this may be accompanied by flashing headlights (frantic).  Single blast
(casual) means "I have seen someone out of India's 870 million whom I recognise",
"There is a bird in the road (which at this speed could go through my windscreen)"
or "I have not blown my horn for several minutes".
Trucks & Buses (4,2,a)
All horn signals have the same meaning, viz, "I have an all-up weight of approx
12.5 tons and have no intention of stopping, even if I could". This signal could
be emphasized by the use of headlamps (insouciant).  Article 4 remains subject to
the provision of Order of Precedence in Article 2 above.

Article 5
All manoeuvres, use of horn and evasive action shall be left until the last possible moment.

Article 6
In the absence of seat belts (which there are), car occupants shall wear garlands
of marigolds, These should be fastened at all times.

Article 7
Rights of way: Traffic entering the left has priority.  So has traffic on the right
and also traffic in the middle.
Lane discipline (7,1): All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of direction
of travel shall occupy the centre of the road.

Article 8
Roundabouts.  India has no roundabouts.  Apparent traffic islands in the middle of
crossroads have no traffic management function.  Any other impression should be ignored.

Article 9
Overtaking is mandatory.  Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other
moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you. 
Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as in the face
of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions, and in the middle of
villages/city centres.  No more than two inches should be allowed between your
vehicle and the one you are passing - and one inch in the case of bicycles and pedestrians.

Article 10
Nirvana may be obtained thru a head-on crash

Article 11
Reversing: No longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.

Article 12
The 10th incarnation of God was as an articulated tanker.