Here are some versions of the modern Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
so now they've got a daughter.



Jack and Jill went up the hill
for just an itty bitty.
Jill's now two months overdue,
and Jack has left the city.


Jack and Jill
went up the hill,
each with a quarter.
Jill came down with fifty cents;
do you think they went for water?


Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Silly Jill forgot the pill
and now they have a daughter.


Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down on top of Jill
and now they have another daughter.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Stupid Jill!  Forgot that pill!
So now they have a son.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
With a keg of brandy
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed
Now it's Jack Jill and Andy


Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high,
Pulled down his fly,
And Jill said,
"Where's the beef!"


Jack and Jill Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass, and grabbed her ass
And now two of his front teeth are missing.


Jack and Jill Went up the hill
Both carrying a bucket.
When Jill bent down
Her ass was round
And Jack decided to read a good book  :)


Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of hanky panky
Jill came back
With a very sore crack
Jack must have been a Yankee



Jack and Jill
went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
the fuckin' whore!


Jack was nimble
Jack was quick
but Jill preferred the candlestick!